I never thought the day would come, but apparently, the sanctity of my LJ has been compromised. So henceforth, my LJ is friends locked. If you have been reading and commenting and aren't my friend yet, please add. This doesn't change current friends, all of y'all are still stuck with me.
Suck off, hatin' bitches that want to ruinz muh eljay.
I find it disturbing that the proposed "Pregnancy & Birth" section in On Demand Home & Life tab is basically filled with the following:
A mere 5 minute segment on breastfeeding
10-12 minutes of scary birth stories ranging from 84lb baby, having your first baby at 57, and expecting 6 babies. All the summaries conclude "complications arise".
The supposed Natural Childbirth, still mentions, verbatim..."a patient wants to deliver naturally but has to take medication for complications."
Why is this troubling, especially the natural childbirth segment? Because a lot of the interventions (codeword for labor drugs) such as Pitocin, Cytotec, etc (which increase contractions, but reduce oxygen to the fetus and also increases chance of uterine rupture [doubled for women who have already had a c-section] and pain involved in labor), and then an epidural to reduce said pain, which reduces the contractions, only to be on the first initial drugs to begin with. This can cause fetal distress and thus an "emergency" (I put this in quotes because it wouldn't have been an emergency to begin with) C-section is called for. So these "medications for complications", honestly, is because people don't like how long it will take for childbirth. To surgeons, that is a "complication". And yes, obstetricians are in fact surgeons.
Being stupid, it's what I do best.
Dana's a Linux person, Jenna's a Mac Person, and I'm a PC.
How this could potentially congregate in the same household is funny.
So remember how I said that my relationship with Jenna was nonsexual?
Totally went out the window after a webcam threesome.
<3 Bow chicka-wow-wow.
So, some of you know I was published on Modern Poly (yes, I am being a self-righteous asshole glorifying my two minutes of fame), and my next one is going to deal with my current relationship. It's nonsexual, but deeply intimate and profound. It's funny, because I feel a bit more poly than I have ever since doing Poly (granted my first poly relationships were just as giddy and exciting as this), but I will be writing about this one.
Jenna, whom I won't put her LJ username down unless she comments on this (she most likely will, and yes it's the same Jenna from the
Celine Dion She Who Shall Not Be Named Incident), is my Faghag. That's kind of a title we put on proudly, and to be quite honest Jenna is the most intimate relationship I've ever had. She even has info on me my therapist doesn't even know (mostly because of embarrassment), I can talk to her on a level that supersedes any relationship in any context. I deeply love her, and she has said she loves me too. We care genuinely for each other, and Dana her husband is a hoot. I love him too, he is like a big giant teddy bear brother of mine. He jokes that I am using Jenna to get to him (so true /sarcasm), and actually does not mind. He took me seriously when I jokingly told Jenna to text him my request.
I honestly didn't expect my friendship with Jenna to turn out this way. I knew her briefly (we friended each other before my injury, I recall that) for the first few months, we started talking a lot and there were periods of not IMing just cause or being busy, but for the past year we've been in pretty constant communication. So we've basically known one another for almost two years now! She also remarks about how well we mesh together, and that previous friendships usually end for either of us because the other thinks we're jerks.
I like it. For quite a while I was assuming I would honestly never find someone who understood my brain, and there was Jenna. While she is poly and Dana's mono, I never really thought of a romantic relationship with Jenna. I think the goofiest romantic we've ever gotten is watch Ghost Adventures together on Netflix and IM each other responses like "OMG THAT EVP WAS SO SCARY!", etc. Yes, we're like a teen faghag queer duo straight from a more sexually explicit version of Glee.
Pat Robertson, please shut up.
So, those who have read my LJ (it's public, so it's not like it's an uber secret tome), I want to label last year as the Year Dani Got Better; or at least, I was making conscious choices to better my life. However, there was slight things lacking, and some of that caused rifts within some of Griff and I's relationship; I am somewhat spiritually unfulfilled, and last night I did a minor yoga practice both in the tub and out of it. I felt like a missing piece was finally nestled in the jigsaw puzzle of my essence. (Essence? Yeah, I said it.)
I call it devotional because I would essentially be devoting at least one day (though I will practice more than that) to yogic practice. To kind of kickoff this decision, I'm going to take a 12 hour fast (I have never done a fast, except for blood work, and I think this is a small enough fast that it'd be beneficial and a small step). I will not eat at 6PM tonight and thereafter until the morning. I also will probably get offline early and do a yoga practice and try to get my regular sleep routine down.
Part of me wants to get another tattoo or piercing to commemorate the whole idea, but with lack of funds I won't be able to. I will be working this semester, so perhaps I can set aside money to do so.
So, I think my anxiety and depression creep up at wee hours in the morning, most specifically under intense stress. As a few posts back, about the whole move and whatnot, it has been fairly stressful here. My grandmother is constantly staying at our floor (being afraid and anxious, and often times nosey), and my mother is taking her frustrations out on being verbally critical of me. The appraiser came by today, so we got one step down. He's also a realitor and has apartments and can find other apartments. He's a pet-owner himself, so if we go with him we can be safe in knowing we can bring our pets.
I got a new headset, in preparation of my (hopeful) debut on Polyweekly!